Friday, March 30, 2007

John Brummett is an idiot

Most of us have long suspected that all is not well on John's upper stories, even though he does occasionally lapse into semi-consciousness and rise up against the sinister forces which constantly afflict everyday Arkansans. Nonetheless, it is frequently apparent that somewhere back in infancy, John must have been dropped on his head, or something.

Others might argue that dropping baby Brummett on its' head would have no ill effects since there is not much inside anyway. Let's leave that for later.

John Brummett's latest outburst of silliness is a willful cruel and offensive harangue against the Arkansas Sports Hall of Fame carried on his blog. Look here, John, I wasn't good enough to play ball either, but some of us are making the conscious effort to adjust. Here is a bit of his venomous and hate-filled attack on this laudable institution and notable tourist destination.

This bill just hands over a hundred grand to a group that exists mostly to honor aging ex-Razorbacks with an annual cocktail reception. The outfit now has a foundation to raise money privately, but that mustn't be going too well, thus the taxpayers are forced into the breach.

It just so happens that my current work circumstances caused me to attend this year's induction ceremony. It has grown to such an extent that the event was held on the floor of Alltel Arena. My old friend, the late Jim Elder, was inducted along with 11 other notable sports figures. Another famous broadcaster, Paul Eels was brought in last year before his tragic passing.

The facility will be opening within the month and will include great interactive exhibits and, I am told, the exact replica of Mr. Elder's office. I can not wait to stand in that wonderful space once again.

John Brummett's brooding resentment is never far from the surface. He has one final vindictive parting shot.

Maybe the House will amend it at least to restrict the money's use to capital expenditures to erect the museum. Ideally it'd stomp the sucker flat. But I'm dreaming now. I'm coming next time with this Newspaper Hall of Fame — a hundred grand from your pocket to mine to throw an annual party honoring tired old journalists, present company included.

The question arises, who would vote to include John Brummett on anything? John, where's your love for the helmet?

John, if only you had made something of yourself, you might have gotten a football scholarship to a mediocre university, been mistreated by the coaches, and received abusive emails from idiot boosters. It's not our fault you're ruined yourself and are not eligible for the Arkansas Sports Hall of Fame.

That Newspaper Hall of Fame you described might be a good idea, but it would need some sort of federal grant just to pay the bar bill.

On a more serious note, my old neighbor John Woodruff would go into that Newspaper Hall of Fame in the first round. I hated to hear of his passing.

And, for those of you commie wimp sensitivity-obsessed delusional morons who are uncomfortable with the word "idiot," that is exactly the reason I used it in the headline. Since you want to take that delightful expression out of our state constitution, I plan to use it on every possible opportunity.

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