Lynch at Large

My special correspondent, Bigdaddio, strikes again and just in time for the Hogs trip to Dallas and the NCAA!

top ten pieces of advice for the arkansas razorback basketball team as they enter the ncaa tournament from local celebritites:

10) from randy rainwater: "remember not to forget, the game isn't over until the fat lady rings the final buzzer!"
9) from david bazzel: "wear a jock that's two sizes too small and tuck your shirt tail into that jock! win, lose or draw, your shirt tail will stay tucked in the whole game and you'll be lookin' sharp!"
8) from tommy smith: "how come we have white guys on the court?! couldn't we find enough black guys who wanted to play to fill out a roster? hey, you white players try to stay out of the black guys' way! ...what are you lookin' at?! i'm not a racist, i'm a realist!"
7) from pat lynch: "don't let your wife catch you drunk before noon! the day sucks from that point on!"
6) from houston nutt: "run the same play until they prove they can stop it, then run the other play!"
5) from mike huckabee: "...the key is to distance yourself from bush while keeping your oversized pants from falling down!"
4) from lindy blackstone: "vaseline on your teeth lets you smile no matter how dry your mouth gets, and don't forget to tape your top to your nipples!"
3) from spencer down at cupids: "i don't want to see any of you in here asking for rolls of quarters until the tournament is over!"
2) from wayne dumond: "show 'em you got a pair, boys!!"

and the #1 piece of advice for the arkansas razorback basketball team as they enter the ncaa tournament from a local celebrity: from nolan richardson: "if you guys win a national championship, i shoot all of your horses!"